i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The ass gains better be worth it
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