batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
