I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
