My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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