dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
