were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
