BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
