Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love having hate sex.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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