I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
