just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
