i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she pinky promised me she was 18
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
