your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize