You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
