YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
