Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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