i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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