Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
