Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I met the friendliest cop last night
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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