i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
