just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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