Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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