Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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