He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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