Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
