oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She's the barista slut.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
