what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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