Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
