You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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