goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
