i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
