What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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