That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
