I wish life had little blips of pornography
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
