Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
PANTIES FOUND
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