its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
