Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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