You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
