We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
