dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
