11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
