Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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