I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
