I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
