You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
