the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
