Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
