: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
