i think i have two assholes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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