Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
