Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
