So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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