So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
