The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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