if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize