I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
