yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
