it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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