Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
