I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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