you win again, gameday.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I want her autograph on my taint
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
