ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
