Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
