I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Damn victory sex feels great
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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