Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
