why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
