Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
