So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
