Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
