return my video game
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize