dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
