In the future we'll all be gay
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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