Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
