you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
