There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
