She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
