why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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