i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
