We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
pray to the hookup gods
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
