i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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